mama story: Chelsea

Today's featured story was submitted by Chelsea. She has graciously allowed me to share her e-mail address if anyone would like to get in touch with her regarding her loss. If you would like to speak with Chelsea, please e-mail me and I'll get you in touch with her.

Each Monday a new mama story will be featured. E-mail me with your story!


My pregnancy was going well- we had surpassed that safe zone of 12 weeks and had since shared our news with friends, family, and of course our social networks. We had reached 17 weeks and were 1 week away from finding out the sex of the baby. I had started to have some sharp pains around my abdomen, but both my husband and I, after entering many many google searches had chalked it up to round ligament growing pains. At one point I did start to bleed a tiny amount, but it was known that I had a sensitive cervix from the beginning so it wasn't unusual but I still decided to call the doctor's office to see what they thought. I spoke with a nurse and she agreed that it was most likely growing pains and that since I had an
upcoming appointment I should just take it easy and drink lots of water, which I did.

It was the evening before I was planning to announce the pregnancy to my small team at work, my boss already knew. I was at home working on something in the office when I stood up- there was a huge gush of water and I had initially thought I had had an accident. My husband was on his way out the door to take the dog for a walk so I called down to him to let him know something wasn't right. We got right in the car from there to head to the emergency room.

As soon as we got there I was surprisingly taken back into a room right away and they put an IV port in, but then sent us back to the waiting room for close to an hour. Google is not your friend! When we were finally called back into a ED bay a doctor did a pelvic exam. I'll never forget the way she told me, "there are products of conception." I had no idea what that meant exactly until the nurse said, "you're having a miscarriage." They wheeled me into a separate room to have an ultrasound, the first ultrasound I would have that wasn't transvaginal, but I would never get to see the screen. I never did get to have that perfect ultrasound that shows the clear outline of a formed baby. At this point they confirmed that while the baby was still alive and had a great heartbeat, there was no amniotic fluid left. We weren't given many options, actually none. We were told that the baby was too young to make it to a healthy delivery with no fluid to help it to continue to develop and that it likely wouldn't live very long in the womb without it either. We were admitted to labor and delivery that night and they started me on cytotec to induce labor. 

It took over 24 hours until we finally delivered our 5oz baby boy. He was absolutely perfect, just very very tiny. He was born sleeping. I am so thankful to have been able to see him, hold him, and spend time with him before having to give him back. We made the decision to have him cremated so that we could know where he was at all times. In addition our wonderful nurses took beautiful photos of him and we have a perfect set of hand and foot  prints that will help me to not forget just how tiny he was.

We never got an actual cause of the miscarriage from our doctors. We did have our baby tested for abnormalities, none were found. It boiled down to the fact that I did have an infection, but the debate was how it started. Did my cervix open allowing infection to enter my uterus or an infection cause my cervix to dilate early? It is an example of the age old chicken or the egg question. I found a wonderful resource online called Abby Loopers where I felt strongly enough to take matters into my own hands and I went forward with something called a transabdominal cerclage. I'll have to have a c-section when I finally have a successful pregnancy, but it will hopefully keep my cervix closed to prevent future infections.

My biggest takeaway:
-If you feel like something is wrong, be an advocate for yourself, push to
be checked out!

                                   The tiny hand and footprints of Chelsea's sweet baby.

                                  The tiny hand and footprints of Chelsea's sweet baby.